Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Self-Esteem and the Confidence of Others

It's important for others to have confidence in us.  If those closest to us don't believe in us, in our ability to reach our goals, in our ability to heal, in our ability to overcome our difficulties ... well, it's damn hard for us to believe we can accomplish those things.  

I'm depressed right now, and maybe that's coloring my memories, but I feel like nobody's ever believed in me.  My parents always told me I was smart, but they won't acknowledge the disabilities that hold me back.  Without doing that, I can't go to them for advice the way some other people can go to their own parents.  Then there's my husband, who thinks I make excuses to avoid working.  Yeah.  Three learning disabilities and psychotic depression is an "excuse".

Right now, I'm trying to believe that I can overcome what happened to me last year.  And, for that matter, my entire adult life of underemployment.  But it's a damn difficult thing.  Here I am, depressed, feeling bad about myself, needing to view myself positively ... and having to get to that place without help from anyone.

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