Today is my first day on 200 mgs of lamictal. I only took it an hour ago, but one thing of note is that I'm already feeling pretty anxious.
Of course, I have external reasons to feel anxious. My relationship is going through a very rough patch, our first counseling session went very poorly, and I'm honestly afraid to go back. In addition to that, I'll be visiting my grandmother in a few weeks, and that's bound to be emotionally challenging. It doesn't help that, since I'm using frequent flyer points to get out there, I have limited availability regarding flight times. I was supposed to coordinate with my sister about arrival times, but I can't get ahold of her. I'm afraid that if I wait too long, I won't be able to get the tickets at all, but if I go ahead and book the flights, I'll be inconveniencing everyone by arriving at a weird time.
Hmmm. Having written that, I think maybe I'm over-thinking this. Arriving at an inconvenient time would hardly be a disaster. It's not like I'll miss a wedding or something.
I'm also worried about going crazy again as the days grow ever shorter.
It's not helping that the weather is being damned weird today. It went from lovely and sunny to dark and raining to lovely and sunny again. This would be typical weather in the upper Midwest, where I grew up, but for my part of NorCal, it's really not. I don't know why, but I've always been uneasy when the weather does weird things. What with climate change and everything, I guess I'll be dealing with a lot of that.
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