Thursday, August 11, 2011

What Is It Like To Have A Mood Disorder?

Have you ever wondered what it's like to have a mood disorder?  Especially when you already have a twisted sense of humor?  I present for your consideration the following conversation I just had with my husband:

Me: I should have called my doctor instead of emailing him.  It's not just that things have gotten worse, they've also gotten weird.

Husband: Weird?

Me:  Yeah.  When I was cooking dinner I heard a noise, sort of a plaintive sound, like a small child crying or one of the cats wanting to be let in.  At first I thought it was coming from outside, because it was so quiet ... then I realized it was actually the beans cooking on the stove.

Husband: And ...

Me: And I had the thought that I was hearing them scream as I was boiling them to death.  Which, for me, is actually a normal thought.  Only normally I would think it was funny.  But this time, it made me really, incredibly sad as I reflected on their suffering.  And that's not normal for me at all.

Husband (pauses, puts an arm around my shoulders):  ... You know, I wish I could hear you explain that particular concept of "normal" to your shrink ...


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