Yesterday was my first really good day. My mood was in good shape, without my usual low point in the late afternoon. I don't know how much of this, if any of it, is due to the cup of coffee I had in the morning. I've learned that it's generally better for me to avoid caffeine, for reasons of both mood and attention, but sometimes when it's right there in the coffee pot ... I just can't help myself. I had a bit of a headache in the evening, but otherwise no side effects.
Today was not so good. After starting out in a pretty good place, I was feeling sad by early afternoon. By late afternoon I was almost weepy. I felt myself questioning the lamotrigine, wondering if it was going to stop working, or if I was going to have to wait another eight or ten weeks until I reach a "therapeutic" dose.
Things picked up in the evening, when I had my first class in Mindfulness Cognitive Behavioral Training for depression prevention. After our first meditation exercise, I felt discernibly better. After the second one, I actually felt relaxed and cheerful. In spite of this, I had another mild headache on my way home from the class (about eight pm or so). Oh well.
I wish I didn't have to be so concerned about this med. But when the side effects can include a deadly skin rash or aseptic meningitis, it's hard not to be hypervigilant.
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