When I switched from the crappy NorthStar lamotrigine back to the Teva formulation, my psychiatrist told me to go back to 50 mgs for a couple of days. I've decided that two days constitutes "a couple". I want to get back on track here.
My mood was slightly variable yesterday, possibly because I'd read something that really pissed me off (long story, won't go into it here). I found myself freaking out about my mood, afraid that I wouldn't get it under control by the time the days start getting shorter, and fretting about my "lost week" on the NorthStar crap ... and then fretting about all the time I've lost to this illness, and fearing the loss of still more time if I have another bad winter.
Hence the decision to kick it up to 75 mgs.
Unfortunately, I think I forgot to take my Ativan last night, which means I didn't sleep well. I turned out the light at 1:30 am, and then woke up at 2, 3, and 5 having to pee (now that I'm back on the real stuff, the dry mouth is back, and I'm drinking a lot of water). My husband's alarm went off at 5:45, and I was aware of it without exactly waking up. Then I woke up at 8, and at 9, and my alarm went off at 10. Whenever I woke up, my husband seemed like he was also restless. I wondered if my restlessness was making him wake up too, but he tells me he slept just fine, thanks! Lucky bastard.
In other words, I'm absolutely exhausted. I have no idea how much of it is or is not a side effect of bumping up the lamictal. My brain seems to be working OK, all things considered. I'm able to focus as well as usual, or at least as is usual for getting no decent sleep last night. Still, exercise and running the errands I had planned for the day are out of the question. I'm so tired I feel like I'd drop a dumbbell on my foot or run my car off the road. I just hope to gods that this translates into being able to sleep well tonight!
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